By Abigail C.I., Jaunty grad
I’ve been in this adulting thing for a few years now and I’ve been having a hard time getting it. I was suffering from life in more ways than one. I experienced abuse as a child and as an adult found it difficult to face life. My severely tainted outlook towards people prohibited me from thriving professionally as a registered nurse. Since we deal with intensive and life-or-death situations at work, being able to connect with my co-workers on a personal level is very important. One must be able to rely on the other on a regular basis. But I had trouble achieving people connection because I was lacking in social intelligence. Over a few years, I found myself always having to find one job after another.
Reading about Jaunty’s free workshop, I finally realized what my problem was and here was the answer.
I took Jaunty’s six-week course and learned formulas for how to attract people through magnetic conversations and behavior. I learned about conversational agility, humor structures, and other really useful social intelligence techniques that are easy to remember. Whenever I am able to seamlessly carry out these Jaunty skill sets, I am able to bring my work relationships to a better level than ever.
During my Jaunty course, I had already been able to influence an important policy change at work with positive reception. My co-workers now give me so much support and respect. Also, I have been invited to a work conference with a few cool people. I’m grateful to Jaunty’s founder Eric Waisman for teaching me how I can have a better life being magnetic.
An equally amazing experience at Jaunty was that Eric had me establish an assertive lifestyle, important for people overcoming traumatic events like me. In the past, I lived life with much disempowerment. Even sitting next to people at BART always had me hate the world for fear of what people can do to me. I even denied my husband from starting a family because I was subconsciously doubtful of my ability to protect my own children from the world. Suffering from the repercussions of my negative past, I had so much difficulty finding the good. I started to worry about my well-being and knew it was time for a change.
At Jaunty, I found a safe space to push through my debilitating past. One of the social intelligence exercises Eric had me do was to focus on relaxing the muscles that tense up when I’m around people. When I fully immersed in this with strangers-turned-friends from class, I found a certain calm. The exercises included holding eye contact which was extremely uncomfortable at first. A few classes in, I gained feelings of kindness and power rather than fear and anxiety when looking into people’s eyes. I thereafter also learned how to speak assertively while being magnetic. Motherhood is now something I can face with my new assertive lifestyle.
For as long as I focus on keeping-up my Jaunty skills, I am becoming better company to the people in my life. I am leaning in more at work and getting more glowing evaluations. I am also enjoying life and my relationships in significant ways. I am really having a lot more happiness and freedom moving forward in this adulting thing. Life still isn’t perfect but it’s how strong I am now facing it. Many thanks to Eric and my Jaunty community.
By Eric Waisman, Jaunty's Founder
Our tribal instincts kick in, and our emotional brains light up on fire when someone else refutes our core beliefs.
Here's what happens:
Don't talk politics unless you're running for office or can create policy change. There's way more to lose than gain, every time. Best-case scenario you agree with each other, and nothing really changes in your relationship. Worst case, well, we all know worst case - anger, resentment, alienation, or even violence.
So if arguing with someone whose views are too conservative or liberal doesn't actually get them to see the light, what does it do? In my experience it just leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth. Politics are personal. In this political season especially, I've been noticing how political debates can get heated fast and can have much longer lasting negative feelings than other topics.
Kinda funny, right? If someone told you your favorite food was lame, you'd probably just shrug it off. "You think cheeseburgers are gross? Whatever, man, more for me." But if someone is on the other side of a social issue you're passionate about... things can get tense. Okay, so here's what you can do instead. Take a deep breath. This will help you put an emotional wedge in the situation and calm down.
If you really want to educate and start the process of having them look at the situation from a different angle, try seeing things from a different point of view yourself. This shows you’re open minded and could get their guard down. They might actually end up supporting parts of your view. For example, if someone doesn't believe in climate change, don’t yell at them or spew out long scientific article-like stuff. Instead ask questions with curiosity. Like, why have temperatures gone up faster recently, and what does all of this trapped Co2 really mean? Also, it really helps if you make it personal. Like let's say this person also has always wanted to see Alaska, you could ask how long will the glaciers and polar bears be able to survive the erosion happening there.
You can also simply shift the conversation. If you've come to one of Jaunty's free social intelligence workshops, you already have some idea of how to move the conversation in a different direction. If you've taken our classes, you have the people skills and conversational agility to move the conversation wherever you want.
You can use humor to defuse tension. Or you can even tell the other person how tribal we get about politics. The more you work on your social skills, the more you realize you always have options for where you take an interaction.