By Fayette Fox, Jaunty's Writer and Community Manager
There are few activities as important and disliked as networking. Fortunately, brushing up your social intelligence skills can help. At Jaunty's free workshops and courses, we teach how to have the confidence to approach anyone, strike up a conversation, and build a genuine connection. Once we have the skills, we're able to put an emotional wedge in our anxiety and can actually have fun approaching strangers at networking events.
Andrea Misir, Jaunty's Social Media Manager in New York City, recently got laid-off from her other job, doing account and campaign management for a third-party mobile ad server. (Basically it's a tech company that puts out the ads for people to click.) Job hunting can be stressful, but Andrea has a great attitude about getting laid-off and knows not to take it personally. For her next job, she's looking for a client services or account management role at a digital ad company. Lately, she's been going to a lot of networking events.
Here are some of Andrea's best networking tips.
"Believe it or not, networking is awesome, whether or not you're looking for a job," Andrea says. She likes networking events as a way to meet new people and feels they're "great to get other perspectives of what's going on in a specific industry or to even get a drinking buddy." She learns about events through industry group newsletters, Eventbrite, and occasionally through social media posts.
From our research at Jaunty, we know approaching strangers is one of the hardest social skills for many people. What if they think we're being too forward or weird? Andrea feels networking events are actually very safe places to try out our approach skills because everyone is there to meet people. "People aren't going to be assholes at networking events. They're not going to say, 'Hey get out of my face!'" she laughs. "Realizing that nothing bad is going to happen if you don't hit it off with anyone, is a good reminder. They're not going to pull out pitchforks if you try to start a conversation."
How to approach
"People will always respond to positivity," Andrea says. You can compliment people on their clothing or jewelry. In fact, some networking experts recommend wearing something distinctive to events for other people to use as an ice breaker. Andrea was actually able to strike up a conversation with a woman as she complimented her pretty turquoise necklace.
If there's a circle of people, stand next to someone and make eye contact. You can wait for them to talk to you or just introduce yourself. Remember to use open body language to seem more approachable.
What to say
After you introduce yourself, ask what they've gotten up to today. If you've come to a free Jaunty workshop, you know how you can thread off their response. It's better to have a playful back and forth than get into "interview mode" asking them too many questions.
At a recent Mobile Monday event, Andrea met someone from FanDuel, a fantasy football league with cash prizes. Riffing off a little football knowledge she gleaned from her boyfriend, they had an animated conversation about imbedding microchips in football players to gather new data that could be used to make better player predictions when creating fantasy football line-ups. Andrea enjoys being playful in conversation, "Threading and letting your imagination run wild. Especially at a happy hour, you don't want to be too buttoned up."
You can also talk about your own experience. Try threading off something that's happened recently and tie it back to your own story. For example, on a recent rainy day when NYC was poised to get another hurricane, Andrea mentioned Hurricane Sandy. That got people to open up about how they were impacted by the storm, great stories that lead to long conversations.
Andrea likes asking people about things they're proud of and watch them light up. "You'll never have a dull conversation if you talk about something they're passionate about." If it's something you don't know much about, it's a great opportunity to learn more. And if you share their interest, you might have just found yourself a new activity partner.
If you're looking for a job, feel free to mention it at some point; just don't lead with it. It's better to build a connection first.
Andrea's networking is paying off already. In fact, later today she has a meeting with a Marketing Manager from a global package delivery service who she met at networking event!
Photo credits: Angry Mob, Robert Couse Baker, Flickr, CC by 2.0; Hurricane Sandy Flooding Avenue C 2012, David Shankbone, Flickr, CC by 2.0
By Byron Evora, Jaunty Graduate
I work in the video game industry as a Sound Designer. It's a pretty awesome job, but big changes in my life made me want to increase my social agility.
I'm an introvert and while I've always seen myself as moderately social, I used to feel a tinge of anxiety before putting myself out there. It wasn't really an issue until last year when I decided to start my own game audio company. Prior to this, handling a few conferences or networking events a year was easy, and even fun - I was a full-time employee at a company and was only interested in making friends and increasing my contacts list. When I split off on my own, the amount of these events increased exponentially. I was now searching for clients, and something tangible was now at stake.
The golden apple of these conferences happens right here in San Francisco, every March. It's called The Game Developers Conference, or GDC.
It's a funny little secret among developers that while the workshops are incredibly informative, they're not actually the real conference. The friendship making, deals, and networking actually happen off-site, during meet-ups, mixers, and of course, the parties.
Imagine putting hundreds of introverts (mostly male) into a room. Some are looking for their next job, others are trying to break into the industry, and a few are there to catch up with old friends. The energy in the party is awkward and stagnant. Nobody's talking except for the circles of old friends, and those more socially comfortable are dominating the room. The rest are wallflowers, shrinking into themselves. In a couple hours, though, the party's jumping.
How? With booze... Copious amounts of booze (among other things - it is SF, and a party, after all). From my experience, GDC is a week of getting hammered until late into the night and making new friends, many of whom don't remember one another the next day. The more intimate networking events throughout the year are similar.
When I signed up for Jaunty, I told Eric I was primarily interested in the six-week class to make connecting with potential clients faster and easier. But that was only half the story. It was also for my health. For at least one night, I'll always tear up the city with my friends at GDC, but throughout rest of the year, this was getting both awfully expensive, and severely unhealthy.
I was four weeks into the course when GDC happened in 2015.
During a party, I walked up to a group of five complete strangers and introduced myself. They were polite, but I could see them starting to armor up for the typically weird small talk followed by the awkward handshake and exchange of business cards. But I didn't talk about work, at least not yet... I asked them what they'd been up to that day and took the conversation to some place fun. Nobody had a single drink yet, but we were having a great time.
When it was time for them to meet up with friends at another party, I had nursed a single drink and none of the group had more than three. One of them remarked that we're normally trashed at this point in the night. I was about to initiate the business card thing, but thought we'd built such rapport, why mar the experience by bringing it back to the subject of work? There'd be plenty of other nights like this and maybe I'd run into them again.
But then, they asked me to go with them. I had no invitation and no badge, but they knew the people throwing it. It wouldn't be a problem at all.
That entire night, I had two drinks and didn't ask for a single business card - they just offered them to me. Further, one of the guys was working on an amazing project (one of my dream gigs) and told me to call him the following week. That phone call included a project director who was interested in possibly using my company to help out on their game. Next came an onsite lunch to meet the team, and finally an offer to bid on the work right away. By then I had finished the Jaunty course and was completely at ease meeting new groups of people, and making them feel at ease without a single beer.
I got the gig.
By Fayette Fox, Jaunty's Writer and Community Manager
"I want to take my life to the next level," Daniel Evan Lee told Eric, after the free Jaunty workshop. "I feel like I'm plateauing." After college, he'd gotten a sales job at a start-up. Three years later he kept wondering if there was a better opportunity out there, somewhere that would be a better fit, where he could make more money.
Working in sales, he felt his social intelligence and relationship skills were directly related to the deals he could close. He thought, "If I can advance my awareness and interactions with others," then maybe he could up his whole game.
He signed up for Jaunty's six-week course with the intention of improving his business life and being ready when his big moment came.
"I'm glad I got to take a class with a range of people and not just business people." In college, Daniel pitched multiple business ideas that were all shot down by his peers and executives. He got comfortable with rejection and learning to manage social anxiety. At Jaunty, he says, "One of the bigger skills I've learned is how to make other people feel more comfortable when they're uncomfortable."
This past fall, six months after taking the course, Daniel was "killing it" at work. He felt confident and interviewed for jobs at three companies in different industries.
"There was this one I really wanted," Daniel says. "I put my all into it." He recalls the extreme disappointment when he wasn't hired.
Then, three weeks into the New Year, a direct competitor reached out to him. His big moment had come. He met up for a beer with the competitor's CEO.
"This guy made millions of dollars with his old company. He's very techie and aggressive. What I chose to wear that day was planned and precise. I've noticed when I wear a baseball hat people pre-judge me." So he wore his baseball hat. "He looks me up and down, kind of hesitant. I can feel it. I said, 'Dude, let's keep it transparent. Why did you reach out to me?'" They went right into the opportunity.
"I was that person they were looking for." Daniel didn't have to prove anything to them. "I felt like I was on fire. I was in the zone." Daniel kept a poker face and stayed focused on his moment even after the CEO offered him a job with a salary and commission that he couldn't refuse.
Thanks to Jaunty, Daniel says, "I noticed his body language, the speed of his delivery of words. It happened so fast but so slow. I vividly remember what's going on." Daniel feels all his social intelligence work went into that moment. Feeling high status and confident, he knew how to present himself.
Daniel really believes in his new company and feels supported in his new job.
"Twelve months ago I couldn't tell you that I'd be feeling this way about my life. That feeling of being excited and waking up before your alarm is amazing." He used to commute from the City to Berkeley every day and now that work is ten minutes away, he has an extra ten hours a week of free time. He enjoys going to the gym on his way home. He's looking forward to buying a house. "I can be my own true Jaunty and have fun with life."
"Jaunty has been incredible," Daniel says. "It gave me skills to lead a conversation, to guide the entire feeling of a conversation to where I'd like it to go. It's helped me slow down my life. I'm way quicker on my feet with jokes. We all have opportunities. Now I feel like I'm getting better and picking the best ones."