First, wow, you guys got me all charged up with your overwhelming responses to the last social challenge of playfully giving someone a task. Great job. And if you still haven’t done it (or know about it) it’s never too late. I ended up telling a cashier at The Market in the Twitter building that she should buy me a latte from the cafe to warm me up as I waited for their faulty credit card reader to work, it was fun, we laughed, it made my day. Speaking of making days...
Small conscious additions in your interactions with people can make a world of difference. The best place to start is by simply remembering that you have choices in your conversations, as opposed to passively hoping you say something worthwhile. As you practice more and more, and learn different types of techniques within your communication, you start developing an arsenal of what we call charisma. Remember the 7 skills that we always talk about?
1. Body Language
3. Conversational agility
4. Play (Humor)
7. Status/Belief System (Confidence)
Ok, you guys wanted more challenges so try this:
Celebrate the approach: So if you have taken some Jaunty training you already have an infinite amount of ways to approach people and initiate a conversation with anyone. This here though, is the opposite. If anyone, anytime initiates a conversation with you (barring a non-safe environment) I want you to “light up” a little extra in the moment. Here is an example:
A fellow WeWork colleague of mine came to my office all the way from the 7th floor (my office is on the 4th floor) to let me know about an interesting event happening up on the 7th. As he said hello and started talking about what was happening on the 7th floor I really engulfed myself in the idea that he came all the way to tell me about this little event that he thought I’d like and it made my day. Unfortunately I was unable to attend, but I made sure to be super happy that he made this approach/invite. I even said, “thanks for thinking of me, you’re rock!”
Your challenge is to add that extra, “you know what, you just made my day,” in your body language or words to another person who initiates an interaction with you. It can be a stronger than usual smile, or widening of the eyes, or a statement.
Give people credit for investing in you. The main way of doing this is to simply continue the conversation with positive body language and engaging conversation. That will be more than enough to let the other person know you were happy they said hello. You can also let them know.
Here are some idea statements:
"You just made my day (week)!”"You just made my day, though!” (if you have to say no)
"Thanks for getting me away from my screen.”
"You’re the best.”
"That’s awesome, will you tell me how it went on Monday?”
Or just simply be a little more excited than usual to be talking with them, this can mean facial expressions and a clearer happier vocal tonality.
Approaches are hard, go reward and enjoy them. There is not enough of that in San Francisco and many more places. It means someone found you valuable in some way, so celebrate it. Let me know how it goes by replying back to this,