How To Get Closer To Someone


How To Get Closer To Someone

Understand the timeless practice of wearing your heart on your sleeve and learn how the art of emotional expression can help you get closer to someone special.
How to get closer to someone

“This one goes out to the one I love.”

The immortal words of R.E.M’s Michael Stipe

It’s said that during jousting matches in the Middle Ages, knights wore the handkerchief of a lady in the king’s court around their arms. Basically dedicating the jousting match to a special lady.

These days we post our affections on social media and instead of jousting with knights we struggle with text anxiety. It’s been a while since I’ve seen anyone joust outside of Medieval Times, but the expression’s still with us.

Wearing your heart on your sleeve is essentially just being transparent and open with your emotions. That can be scary and a lot of us try to protect ourselves by being more guarded emotionally.

How To Get Closer To Someone You Like

Building deep, meaningful relationships is an art that requires having social skills, persistence, and understanding social cues. It’s a process that involves a myriad of layers, each requiring attentiveness. It starts by creating a safe, trustworthy environment, leads to understanding mutual values and beliefs, and ends with cultivating a deep bond. This intricate process presents a variety of connections, which we’ll explore and analyze in-depth below.

1. Express Yourself Honestly

The first step is to foster an environment of honesty, which is the foundation of any successful relationship. Begin by sharing your feelings, thoughts, and experiences openly. Also, try to embody reliability and consistency in your actions and words.

2. Practice Opening Up

Additionally, it’s crucial to practice vulnerability. Ways to achieve this can include journaling, expressing yourself through art or music, or even talking to trusted friends about intimate topics. Opening up allows someone to understand you better and leads to a deeper emotional connection.

3. Become an Active Listener

Active listening is often underestimated, yet it’s a critical part of building a strong bond. Make sure you listen attentively during conversations, reflecting back on what’s been said. Always maintain a non-judgmental attitude.

4. Use Body Language Effectively

Communication isn’t just verbal. Non-verbal cues like eye contact and touch can also create a sense of proximity and understanding between two people. These subtle signals can help you convey your feelings more effectively and build better rapport.

5. Accept Them as They Are

Everyone is different, and it’s these differences that make us unique. Make sure you accept the other person for who they truly are – their quirks, flaws, and all. This kind of unconditional acceptance leads to a deeper, more authentic connection.

6. Give Compliments

Sincere compliments can make someone feel appreciated and valued, which can strengthen your relationship. Note their accomplishments, no matter how trivial, and express your admiration.

7. Ask Meaningful Questions

Lastly, show genuine interest in their life. Ask questions about their experiences, beliefs, and perspectives. Valuing someone else’s thoughts and wanting to understand them better leads to a deeper and more meaningful connection.

What Is The Connection Between Honesty and Intimacy?

The foundation of any relationship is honesty. Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences transparently can help you build trust and pave the way for intimacy. Open communication provides a safe space for both parties to explore their vulnerabilities and truly get to know each other, which deepens their connection.

  • Honest communication can defuse tension and eliminate misunderstandings.
  • Honesty attracts truth-seeking individuals, creating a virtuous circle.

Why Is Active Listening Important When Building Rapport?

Active listening, reflecting back on what’s been said, and maintaining a non-judgmental attitude can also help in getting closer to someone. Effective listening that communication becomes a two-way process, providing everyone in the relationship an opportunity to express themselves.

  • Active listening involves fully focusing, understanding, responding, and then remembering what’s being said.
  • It’s a proven way to show empathy and shows the other person that you value their words.

What Is The Connection Between Acceptance and Developing Stronger Connections?

Accepting someone for who they are makes you more approachable, and it is a powerful tool for creating tighter bonds. Understanding and accepting a person’s true self make them feel valued and leads to stronger, more authentic relationships.

  • Acceptance nurtures an environment of mutual respect and understanding.
  • It eliminates the need for constant approval, providing a sense of comfort in the relationship.

Here’s why I’m texting her back right away. 

You know, it’s been a while since I wore my heart on my sleeve.

In the past decade or so I’ve worked hard to create a lifestyle of abundance. I’ve been surrounded by a lot of people, I’ve made many great friends, which has made it very natural to be busy and invited to a lot of stuff. I feel blessed. I genuinely have to schedule social stuff weeks in advance.

Many Jaunty alumnus have thanked us for this in their lives.

But somewhere along the way, it’s become hard for me to wear my heart on my sleeve for anything. I may have come across as super independent. Looking back, I realize in my last two relationships I was a bit distant at times.

When I was struggling with something emotionally, I often tried to work through it on my own instead of confiding or seeking support from the people closest to me. Now I wonder if I’ve closed myself off to deeper emotional connections with people by not letting myself be more vulnerable. I kinda miss a little bit of needy.

It feels really good to be desired and to desire others. Right now I’m working on finding that balance. I’m playing with being much more vulnerable in investing in people I genuinely like and love. 

How can you do this too?

You can straight up tell the person that they’re important to you, ask them out, or even text them back immediately whenever possible.

Yep, I said it.

It’s all about balance and opening up. Being a bit distant and independent can be very healthy and attractive, but make sure you’re showing some love, and wear your heart on your sleeve as you joust through life too.

Studies have actually shown a correlation between how long relationships last, and how responsive the two people are with each other. 

Lately I’ve been getting lots of phone numbers from new people I’m meeting, and I’m realizing how great it is to establish a responsive behavior with someone. It actually feels contagious where I want to give back that great feeling of an immediate text or phone call. Getting an enthusiastic or flirty text back quickly may be a great sign of great things to come.

Remember, it takes real strength to show your weaknesses. Even social dynamos need help sometimes. In fact, “heart on your sleeve” is going to be my Halloween costume this year since it’s pretty scary.


Eric Waisman

Eric Waisman

Founding Instructor

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