That person in the mirror
"How can this person sustainably contribute to a bigger cause if they can’t have a normal office conversation?"
Think about your cause. Is your cause revolved around family, a social issue, a political issue, getting a product or service out to people, or even a charitable cause? What is it? How are your efforts in your cause succeeding?Something may be missing from your answer. The answer could be YOU.
Something I have noticed working with many clients is if you have a “life can be good” mental foundation your efforts for your cause will be more successful. Get yourself aligned and THEN you can contribute better to the world. Let’s look at an everyday example:
At work you are on a team where you don’t particularly get along with everybody and you are trying to get a promotion to a different team where you get paid more and you get to work with a new group of people. A different co-worker who is newer with the company gets the promotion. You decide to talk to the manager about this.
This interaction can go many ways. Here is how it may unfold if your foundational life’s view is weak or negative:
The conversation gets emotional very quickly and your anger, envy and fears are very much embedded in this conversation and true communication is mostly lost in the fury. For people higher in neuroticism this may be common.
We may get emotional quickly because we don’t have our shit together (“life can be good”) with ourselves. Your dark side, stemming from your biggest fears, comes out. Your repressed fear of not being successful, going hungry, being lonely, being talented enough, being good looking enough, or even being noticed enough comes out.
It is uncontrollable because we have not faced these fears in a productive way, so they lash out (Read again: A consistent dose of not being invited to play on the school yard or not getting “enough” likes on social media can lead a small conflict into a rage). How can this person sustainably contribute to a bigger cause if they can’t have a normal office conversation?
When you face these fears, you can start finding a balance with them which in turn makes you more bulletproof to the blows and struggles life hands you. The darkness won’t pop up so harshly and uncontrollably in an everyday situation. You start a “life can be good” foundation. This is the essence of working on yourself. You can then work on other aspects like physical health, environment, and social relationships (hello jaunty.org!) You are now ready to move forward towards want you want.
At Jaunty we walk our students through facing their fears socially by practicing in front of each other as well as going out in the real world and pushing through our comfort zones followed by open discussions and live feedback.
If one creates this “life can be good” foundation their efforts, and more importantly, the success of their efforts for a cause can skyrocket as it gives you the boost (serotonin), and more productive experiences that helps you thrive. If you can’t face your fears for your own sake, do it for your cause! -Eric Waisman
Written by Eric Waisman and edited by Fayette Fox