Why is there such a gap between wanting to meet new people and actually doing it?
We crave connection but rejection hurts
Rejection is the terrible reflection of us being less valuable than we thought we were. We painfully embroider that anyone else at the same or higher status as the rejector is now superior to us. And that hurts! Our positive belief in ourselves takes a big hit.
We avoid the possibility of it at all costs by not sticking our necks out to the possibility of rejection. This is doubly true in romantic scenarios. And we miss out on countless opportunities.
The pain of rejection seems to be worth it
There is hope! The pain-to-satisfaction ratio is well worth the new social connection attempt.
Meeting someone new can be anxiety-inducing, but it is often worth it because it can lead to forming new relationships, gaining new experiences, and learning more about yourself and others. These new people can provide support, friendship, and love. They can also teach us new things, help us grow, and make us happier.
You get better – and your social cup gets filled up fast
Approaching new people is a skill, and an art in itself. Yes, it can be difficult to put yourself out there, but it is a skill that can be learned. Additionally, it can be very rewarding. Body language, eye contact, and conversation starters are important to consider when meeting someone new. And as we found out at Jaunty it is all very learnable.
When you take the time to learn your favorite and most attractive ways of conversing you get better. Fast. Especially with live-time feedback.
Yep, you go down a couple of times in ball of flames, but look at it as a sacrificial practice at first. You may sacrifice and fail at your first 50 attempts but it is a huge gift to your future self. Trust us, we have seen over 8,000 people go through this.
Let’s say you have an average of 3 opportunities a week to meet someone new that looks interesting to you. That’s 156 opportunities a year and 1560 over 10 years. After the first (painful) 50 you get the skill up to an above average confidence level.
You still have 1510 opportunities left for that decade! With your new skill level, you bet you will make some friends, get dates, and network successfully.
You only need a handful of great people to start a satisfying and fulfilling social circle.
The faster you learn through your first 50 approaches the faster you will start getting confident in your social skills. Within a reasonable timeframe of course, say 2-3 months.
Oh, and most of the time you actually start filling up your social circle with those first 50!