As the course wrapped up I felt I had picked up a number of great tools to use out in the wild. Serendipitously I was invited to a birthday at a popular Los Angeles rooftop lounge the night after our last class. This would be the grounds to test the material – and it worked tremendously.
My body language was confident as I walked in, I approached my friends and focused on our interaction long before I ever read the room, cementing high status. As new people came to and from our table I made a point to introduce myself to each of them within 3 seconds of making eye contact. I also noticed that with one or two women circling that once I made brief steady eye contact (no darting!) they would inevitably gravitate closer to me hoping for me to engage them, which I did!
Each new person I was able to use the standard 3 points, “Hi, I’m Jake, what have you been up to today? People love this question and genuinely perk up when I ask them. Who doesn’t love talking about themselves? (lol)
I’d follow this with where are you from / where do you live in town, and finally after another round – so tell me, what do you like to do for fun?
For a girl I felt particularly attracted to I engaged conversation and then said, I’m going to return to my friends, I’ll catch you later. She was excited to speak to me again when I engaged her later on. As we talked, I asked her what she’s been up to today, we banter, I ask what part of town she’s in – find out she lives nearby, and then move onto what do you like to do for fun. Finally, after great conversation, I ask are you single, let me get your number, lets hang out. Locked! This girl was maybe 3 inches taller than me too, what is this life?! Am I dating models now??!!?
I joke, but the confidence I had in myself being able to engage anyone was magnetic – I never had awkward, “what do I do with my hands” social moments because I was always engaging those around me, adding value to the group I was with. I had two different guys approach me because they just thought I looked cool and fun and wanted to be friends!
The compounding effects of such small social changes was really impressive for me. I was even able to on-ramp a few people and then when they asked me what I’ve been up to – explain the jaunty course, and even explain the tools I’d just used to communicate with them. A few people were so fascinated they asked me for the jaunty website.
Overall, this was a huge accomplishment and an exciting forecast of how this summer will go for me. The subtle change of having pre-loaded go-to social cards allowed me to break through the awkward and uncomfortable “what do I say to this person next to me?” feelings and simply be present. I walked away from this birthday with 4 new numbers and one potential date and truly feeling confident that everyone I spent time with really valued and appreciated the energy I brought to the social event.
Thanks Eric & Craig for giving me these incredible tools!
