When it comes to social skills, assertiveness is key. Many people struggle with the idea of saying “No.” They feel like they need to please everyone and say “Yes” to every request. They don’t want to disappoint people or strain the relationship. This can be a huge drain on your time and energy. It can also lead to resentment.
Maybe you rank high on the personality trait of agreeableness. Maybe your family or culture does not allow for any signs of selfishness. Whatever the reason, it is important to challenge your preconceived notions and learn how to be assertive. Here are the top reasons why:
- It will save you time and energy
- You will be able to set boundaries
- You will avoid resentment
- It can help you learn more about yourself
Can Assertiveness Be Learned?
Assertiveness is one of the social skills that can be learned at any age. It is the ability to express yourself in a clear, confident way while respecting the rights of others. When you are assertive, you can set boundaries and stick to them. You don’t have to be rude or aggressive to do this.
Learning how to say “No” in a respectable but assertive way can help you maintain better boundaries in your life. This is a skill we practice in the first level in the Jaunty Gym. In this blog post, we will discuss the top reasons why being able to say “No” is so important!
Why Must We Learn To Say No?
1. Saying “No” will save you time and energy
If you are constantly saying “Yes” to everything, you will quickly find yourself overwhelmed. You will not be able to keep up with all the commitments you have made. This can lead to burning out and feeling resentful.
Imagine a friend asking you to go to their art show every weekend. At first, you are excited to support them. But after a while, it becomes too much. You start making up excuses not to go. Eventually, you stop taking their calls altogether.
If you had been assertive from the beginning and said “Thanks for asking but no, I can’t come every weekend. I’ll let you know one week ahead of time the ones I can come to,” there would not have been any tension or hard feelings. You would have saved yourself a lot of time and energy.
2. Saying “No” allows you to set boundaries
It is important to know your limits. If you do not set boundaries, people will take advantage of you. They will assume that you are always available and that your time is unlimited. This can lead to burnout and resentment.
When you learn to be assertive, you can set boundaries in a clear, confident way. For example, let’s say your boss asks you to stay late every night this week to finish a project. You know that you have other commitments this week and you need time for yourself. You can say “No, I can’t stay late every night this week. I am available Monday and Wednesday nights.”
Pro tip: Make sure that the alternatives you give people are something you are OK with. If you say, “I can’t help you move to a new apartment this weekend but maybe Tuesday morning?” Be sure that you are fine with it come Tuesday. Alternatives are not necessary, be ok with silence after the “No.”
When you say no you are asserting your rights. You are telling the other person that you have a right to your own time and energy. You don’t have to do everything that is asked of you. It is okay to put yourself first sometimes.
3. Saying “No” helps you avoid resentment
If you do not learn to be assertive, you will end up feeling resentful toward the people in your life. This is because you will not be able to set boundaries. You will say “Yes” to things that you don’t want to do. You will end up doing things that you are not passionate about.
It is important to learn how to say no in a respectful way. This way, you can avoid feeling resentful. You can still be a good friend or family member while setting boundaries.
Pro tip: How people react to your no’s shows a lot about the relationship. If someone gets mad or tries to guilt you when you say no, that is a huge red flag. They do not respect your boundaries and they are not worth your time or energy.
You cannot control how someone else reacts to what you say or do. You can only control your actions and words. If it creates enough animosity from them you should reevaluate the relationship – because a healthy relationship should not require you to put yourself in uncomfortable or even dangerous situations.
4. Saying “No” can help you learn more about yourself
When you learn to be assertive, you will start to pay attention to your own wants and needs. This can be a difficult process at first. You may have been taught that it is selfish to put yourself first. However, it is important to learn what you want and need to be happy.
When you are constantly saying “Yes,” you are not giving yourself time to figure out what you want in life. You are not taking the time to explore your own interests. This can lead to a feeling of emptiness or dissatisfaction.
Saying no can help you find your voice. When you learn to be assertive, you will start to find your voice. This is an important part of personal growth. You will learn to stand up for yourself. You will learn to communicate your wants and needs.
Saying no will help you and your relationships. Saying no is not easy, but it is a skill that is worth learning. Assertiveness is an important skill to have in life. It can help you learn to set better boundaries, reduce stress, and focus on what is important to you. If you struggle with being assertive, social skills classes can help you learn this important skill.
Learn to say no and be assertive to live a better life. It will help you manage your time, avoid resentment, learn more about yourself, and find your voice. Saying no is a skill that is worth learning and practicing!
